Defenders of the Mirth

Hi there Mirthlings!

I’m Ben, also known as CosmicStressHead on another site (cosmicstresshead.com).

I’m one of the people taking part in connecting the dots on a thing on Doug’s site (savagechickens.com). The thing itself can be found here.

My submission to connecting the dots:
Disabled Cabaret Octopus

Doug has seen his way clear to providing a link to showcase some of each participant’s own work on his site and I have chosen to give Doug the link to the site you’re viewing now (defendersofthemirth.com).

Although this isn’t my main site (see cosmicstresshead.com link above) I chose this one to give to Doug as it really is the most recently active project on which I have been working (that’s not really saying much though – intertree).

So, make your choice visitor! Stay here and listen to some really rather crude and crass entertainment or saunter over to cosmicstresshead.com and view some of my own comic archives.

Hello to all those who have come here having been subjected to the shameless promotion over on Google+

We have made a political promise today – to campaign immediately, and to full effect, for the preservation of what may turn out to be Google+’s Northern Ireland moment of history.

This is not a task we enter into lightly, and nor should anyone feel that we are doing this solely in the interest of raising our own publicity; although this will be undoubtedly an unfortunate and, in many ways, unwelcome side-effect. We feel strongly enough about this motion that any kind of celebrity status we may garner we will grin and bear magnanimously.

So, friends, SAVE THE BELFAST THREAD. Work with us through this challenging time.

Anyone currently unaware of the ongoing threat to our national heritage, we urge you all now to visit http://plus.google.com/103135006586075679705/posts/NaTAb42rF7x to see what we, as a society, may be about to lose.

KEVIN MCNICHOLL MUST BE STOPPED!

Thank you Mirthlings, thank you all.

Right, one of the things I always promised that I would do on the site is to continue my blog, which was to be fair, was only available to people that knew me on social networking sites. Well I’m not going to do one of the usual crazy rant type blogs, this is more of a retrospective on what has become a pretty big part of my life.

The Defenders of the Mirth started, as most things do online, as a crazy conversation via msn. To the younger readers msn was what we old people used before facebook and text messaging. Johnny(Intertree) and I were having a general conversation about things we would like to do, I was talking about the blog I was writing and expressed a desire to move it to a place were more people could find it. The conversation eventually turned towards podcasting and how that seemed to be a great way of expressing our crazy ideas and relieve the general public of reading information and instead have it drip fed through their ears. Partially drunk on the power such an outlet would provide, the idea and the bare building blocks of the show were hammered out over the next 4 hours. It was a long conversation and I was very sleepy by the end of it.

After a short time a situation arose that led to Intertree and I living together. This convenience led to the first podcast. Now, anyone that has actually heard the podcast will know that it was lacking in mirth and there was quite a lot of nerves. We had never done this before and were afraid that we would sound like complete idiots. I was already used to the idea of being and idiot and actually having to look at myself (as some of you lucky people don’t) only compounds the fact but there were jitters non-the-less. In retrospect the death of other podcasters really wasn’t the best subject of our first cast but well, we had and an episode recorded. We listened to it and took solace in the fact that it wasn’t completely like the used tampon of the podcasting world we were imagining. Johnny(Intertree) also pointed out that if you go back and listen to any podcast from episode 1 and go through the episodes you will notice a steady improvement as the show finds it’s feet.

Looking back now I can state that there are some episodes I love and remember fondly. The first “Marks Moment” and episode 3 really contributed to the direction of the show and actually indicated that this show was going to contain some mirth. As the weeks went on other features and moments were included, the inclusion of opening skits(especially Ecto Sinclair and Mystic Mandy), our ongoing subplots involving the space station, the growth of our supporting cast and their contributions to the shows and a certain Mr. N Cognito all added depth and humour. Basically it was getting better.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is thank you. We have had success to a degree were I’m happy. I just wanted to get to get my friends all in one place and talk about the crazy stuff that made us laugh, get outrageously angry, stupidly excited and occasionally touched our heart. The fact that we may be listened to outside our immediate group of friends is a brillant bonus but not the reason I started this.

Goodbye Cunts!!!, AboveAveargeJay

Sorry for there not being a show up this week folks. We’ve been having technical difficulties with the space station, seems to be leaking coolant.

We’re working on compensating, Star Trek style, and will be popping up both a 3.5 feedback episode and official ep 4 soon.

We have decided to go ahead and put up some rudimentary material without any fancy production such as a theme tune.

Mainly, this is because we haven’t got copyright permission to do what we want to do for a theme yet; this is being worked on at the moment however.

In the meantime our first discussion should be going live on site in the next day or so.

Don’t judge us too harshly

Well Mirthateers, we have my first offical post coming to you from the Outpost of Mirth, 6 miles above the surface of the planet. You all look like ants from up here, God Dammed Ants I Tell You!!!!!!

Well off for a bath, I just wanted to break the seal of newness.

I’ve been noticing this trent that seemed to start on thursday night… everyone is a little bit racist, well not everyone. In case you didn’t know or didn’t care, modern Captain Nazi, Nick Griffin appeared on Question Time in Thursday and seems have had made some sort of impact. Just to be clear before starting this, the man is slime, his views are a particularly dirty kind of evil and his supporters have a wonderfully horrible place in Hell reserved just for them.

It’s just that I have heard a number of quotes that seem to be based on a softening of opinion. This is basically the fault of the BBC and I’ll explain why. Thursday night was a great example of “school yard” politics, and the politicians didn’t have the intelligence to recognize what was going to happen. The idiots just followed to first instinct which was to pick on the weakest to make themselves look strong, a basic bully mentality. This had one result, people felt slightly sorry for him. I’m not saying everyone, the people that hate him and all that he represents still hate him and probably got a kick out of seeing him squirm, the people that support him are probably happy as they would see this as a step in the right direction and a vindication of their political views. The people I’m talking about are the surprising large amount of borderliners that probably agree with some of his views, probably on our immigration policies. What they saw was a man they might not like, which isn’t a problem as the vast majority of MP’s and politicians are hated anyway, being attacked for expressing some views that they share.

This has lead to people expressing similar views in the public domain. Most along the lines of “I don’t like him but he did have a number of good points”. Fuck him and his good points, there is nothing wrong with being a beacon of acceptance, tolerance and compassion. I would argue that out of the entire quality spectrum those would be the three that I value above all. They are certainly better than warmongering, indiscriminate hate and xenophobic racism.

I just want to remind people that like many/all politicians this man has a hidden agenda. This agenda probably appears like a Nazi propaganda film, blond haired boys and girls running through shining green fields being taught about the greatness of their forefathers smudging over the sometimes dark and dirty areas of history. Well the thought of that makes me sick. Cultural diversity is probably one of the most brilliant things about this planet and one of the reason I have any kind of interest is history.

I, James, the Scourge of Carpathia, the Sorrow of Moldavia, command you!

There!!! now I have got your attention I may continue.

During my day off I was unfortuatly forced into expanding my mind. I watched some doc on channel 4 about new media and how T.V. is basically dead. Then it threw a rather interesting factoid at me, the average western teen spend 2 hours on the internet. Well I beat the pants offa them hands down!!!

2 hours is just my dedicated porn surfing time, not even mentioning James’ most awesome nerd time, James’ hour of self-improvement, intermitant social browsing and interwebs based gaming!!! Teens now-a-days just don’t know how to completly dedicate themselves to a way of life. These examples were just a slice of my online existance, I have many other “sad bastard” hobbies that require feeding, much like a good ol’ crack addiction.

The sooner things become like Jonny Nemonic the better.

Guess this was just a quicky rant, I though this has some sort of legs then I looked down and saw the shiny steel of a wheel chair.

TTFN

About a week ago, with my 26th birthday looming I gave everyone an opportunity. This opportunity is something thats seems to have been quite rare in this world as of late and I was feeling particularly brave. This opportunity was of course 26 questions followed by 26 completely honest and truthful answers.

Most of the questions asked were in the final hours of the offer, most of the questions were asked with alcohol in me and most thankfully most were not along the lines of “would you bum your Mum or a dead lama?”. All that being said all they were truthfully answered to the best of my ability.

Below are the questions followed by the answers, and before it is pointed out to me, 26 questions were not asked. The questions are stated in the order to which they were sent to me by Jonny.

Am I Gay?

Um, this was an easy one, NO!!!!

Have you ever kissed a Guy?

Yes, I have. It was an American Pie type scenario were If I kissed a guy two ladies would do some lesbian stuff, and yes, it was worth it!!!

Have you ever been arrested?

Quick answer, no, long answer, not exactly. I have had two run ins with the police in my life.

The first was when I was walking back to my Nan’s house in Belfast after going to see the Blair Witch Project 2 (which was terrible). I was about 16, and in a group of people around a similar age. The police stopped us, assumed we were up to no good, and escorted us home. I do fondly remember the police trying to ascertain the location of our homes in Belfast by asking us where we went to school. I truthfully replied “Glastry”, and then had to explain where Glastry was and why the hell I was in Belfast.

The second encounter with the police was actually shortly after that. It was a cold winter night, around Halloween, It was only about 7 but pitch black. I was walking home from the Mace after buying some shit and from the Primary School car-park a firework shot out of the darkness and zoomed right across my path. A police officer from the nearby station ran up to me. I, after having the shit scared out of me, then informed him that I was unharmed. The obviously blind policeman then informed me that he suspected that I had launched the firework. Not being an angry person I then asked the policeman to explain to me how I was able to launch a firework and then cover the 200 yards distance to our current location only for it to narrowly miss me. Unable to explain this he walked off, not even looking for the actual perps who were probably still hiding behind the cars.

What is the worse thing that I ever did and have gotten away with?

Oh dear, a Pandora’s box of a question, well here is the answer. After the break up of a previous relationship, I was left very bitter!!! I won’t go into the reasoning because that is what someone else did, not what I did. Anyway, bitter, I wanted nothing more than to leave Edinburgh and Scotland behind and come home. I Moved out of my flat in May time and made a bee line directly for County Down. I later receive correspondence from the ex in the form of an E-mail that there had been an unpaid bill and she had paid a bailiff the money that was owed and was requesting the money to be reimbursed. I then immediately deleted the E-Mail and never mentioned it again, until now.

For the longest time I have felt incredibly guilty about the act and have never been in a position to put it right. Others that know the complete story have informed me that I should have no guilt as the wrong that was done on me was far, far greater.

Tit-for-Tat, it doesn’t matter, the only thing that kept me sane during the entire thing was that I was a better person, I lost that. I have always looked up to heroic ideals, Superman, Batman, Spider-man were my Jesus. That was the one day that evil won and all I can do is try to be a better person in the future and part of that is admitting what I did or didn’t do. I should have been better.

Have I ever done anything funny with my penis?

Thank fuck, a lighter one, and yes is the answer. While in bed with a lady I turned little James sideways and made the little hole talk like a mouth. He had a little voice that I will be glad to share with you in person if you ask nicely. Only ladies get the full show!!!!

What actor would I shag up the ass? a Sam question believe it or not!!!

Easy answer, Ryan Reynolds.

What do I most want to do at the end of the night?

This is a multi answer type situation, as i guess it would be for most people, depending on mood.

Some nights, sorry people if this is too much information but the easy answer is sex, failing that masturbation, both concluding in sleep.

Other nights I just want to get into bed and well, just have someone beside me. Oh dear, I think I just lost some man points for that answer!!!! Really had to fight the urge to put cuddle in that one…

What do I think of DC Comics?

A nerd question!?! I would answer this one honestly for free. I have always been a Marvel kid. I collected Spider-man like he might go out of stock for years!!! In resent years I have started getting a lot of DC books, digital distribution ftw!!! “Booster Gold” and “Batman and Robin” have both featured on my pull list and generally they are the 2 comics I enjoy most at the min.

What am I most proud of doing in my life?

When I was 17/18 my Nan got alzheimer’s. I had always enjoyed staying at my grandparents, their house to me was probably the happiest place on Earth. I practically moved in with them at that stage. I was there everyday par one or two per week. I’m not going to sit here and say that I always did the best job but I was still young and a complete idiot most of the time.

My strongest memory of that time was waking up on a Saturday. My Granda always did his shopping on the Saturday Morning because he knew someone was gonna be there with Nana(childish, I know, but that’s what we called her). I woke to find the house empty and the front door open. I looked out the front door to see her about 300 yards up the street and about to turn the corner and move out of sight.

I should at this point mention that my Nana had lost about 50 years of memory and though she lived at the completely opposite side of Belfast where she grew up.

In nothing more that a t-shirt and 3/4 length shorts ran after her. Trying to convince someone that something that they knew to be true is practically impossible. Lucky for me I had stood on a couple of pieces of broken glass and the blood was running out of the bottom of my foot. The Nurse in my Grandmother kicked in and I managed to return her home.

In conclusion, I could have done more, but did more than most.

Sorry about this guys but I’m gonna split this up, as I am tired.

End of Part 1

Well, I’ve started renting a house with my brother and my two long time friends Lynsey and Paul; my brother has since become engaged to one of them, I’ll leave it to you to guess which one

They’re actually having their engagement party tomorrow night, which will be fun.  This has reminded me that I have still not managed to get a hold of my Camera’s Battery Charger, best get onto that one before it’s too late.  I’ll post some pictures of the big event if I manage to succeed in my search.

Another big event is coming up on Sunday.

Our, now extended, group of friends is going out to Tullymore Forest Park for a bonding and barbeque session.  I was a little bit hesitant about heading along at first as I thought space in transport would be a difficulty, I have been assured this will not be the case and now I plan to bring along multipacks of Crisps.  Once again, if all goes well with my hunt for a charger, pictures to come.

I’ve started using twitter again in the last couple of months and just last night decided to start using it as a system for delivering me news.  I am now following the Financial Times, Telegraph and Independent headlines. We’ll see how long that lasts before the constant news pinging starts to annoy, however I think Windows Mobile 6.1’s automatic message threading will help keep the stream under some control.

It’s Easter, and this morning it struck me that I haven’t even thought about that once until today.  It’s funny how events in the year that had such significance in your life when you were a child can just start to slip past as you get caught up in the business of managing your life as an adult.  I’ll have to spend some time thinking about the holiday.

One of my old friends Caitlín’s guinea pigs is having a bit of a rough time of things at the moment and has become unhealthily thin, I wish her and her’s all the best of luck on nursing the little pig back to health.

I guess that’ll do for a quick overview of some recent thoughts and events in the life of Johnny Kelly.

Hope you’re well yourself