Defenders of the Mirth

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dun, dun-en-un, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun…… Formula 1 is back fuckers!!!!

by on Mar.29, 2009, under Crew Logs

So my ‘dun’ rhyme might not be an accurate rendition of the ultra cool theme music, and by referring to my friends and readers as ‘fuckers’ might not be a good way to expand my readership, but ah hell fuck it, the sport of kings has returned, dam, ass, hell, fast-as-fuck KINGS!!!!

Surprising start as the Braun GP team pick up a 1-2 and somehow Hamilton ends up in fucking third. Plus both anal rape red Ferraris exit the race with no points, not a bad race. The old, awesome, theme music from my childhood is back; and no commercial breaks!!!

Now, time for the rant! The new play-by-play guy has about as much charisma as a Joseph Fritzel/John Major transporter accident. He sucked all the fun and excitement out of the fastest sports on the planet with such ease, it was almost as if he was employed to make it lame, why!?!

Alas I have done other things this weekend too, hold your horses, don’t get too excited; it wasn’t anything overly cool or anything. Basically I bought a bunch of DVD’s and watched them. No overly stupid reviews here ppl. If I wanted to direct you to some pretentious asshole, acting like they knew anything about film, trying their best to sound smart when their obvious idiocy is apparent to anyone that has read more than two lines of their work; well ladies and gents I would direct you to……. The Sun film review page!!! I know, I know, I went left when you thought I was going to go right; I’m tricky like that.

Fine, fine, there is one other place you can go where someone completely bumble fucks their way around a review like multiple amputee trying to navigate/roll around a maze made entirely out of broken glass… but I don’t hate anyone enough to make them suffer it.

On that note one, here’s couple of my notoriously short film reviews:

Zach and Miri make a porno: Awesome!!!
Quantum of Solace: No Casino Royale, not shit though.
Fantastic Four – Rise of the Silver Surfer: All shit bar the Surfer, and anyone that has read my Galactis = Giant Cloud rant knows how I feel about that so why repeat myself.
Mama Mia: Didn’t watch it, but the idiot, Down’s Syndrome like smile on the face of my Mum should say it all. Woman and gay men will enjoy it.

Last Note, Northern Ireland 3 Poland 2. What a fucking result.

On that note, catch ya laters and remember, knowing is half the battle, G.I. Joe!!!!!

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Who Watches the Watchmen, Well I do……

by on Mar.07, 2009, under Crew Logs

I went out today, with one objective, to see the watchmen and I did and it was brilllant!!! Hype asside I really did enjoy it. The characters were brought to life and thats all you can ask for in a comic book adaption. The first 10 minutes of the film just grab you by the balls and, well, it doesn’t let go for the next 2hrs and 30mins.


Now that I’ve completely blown my load in the first ten seconds, which is quite crap, I’ll continue on with the other events that happened today. I met up with a couple of friends that I hadn’t seen in years and as if by magic picked up exactly were we left off. Weird jokes bouncing of the walls of Wolsey’s, it was awesome. I haven’t laughted that hard in years, nerd jokes for the win. The sort of jokes that only fellow geeks can laugh at, we even ran with a 20min joke about life from the perpective of Dr. Manhatten, a person that experiences all of his existance at once. About ten other ppl in the world would have found it funny and the other seven were nowhere to be seen.

Thats not to say the jokes didn’t get a bit fucking crude too. A film called Watchmen, how could you not make a joke about dogging. Plus the film contains quite a bit of big blue penis, as someone that has complete control of matter can’t even seem to whip up some pants in the company of other men!!!

Of course it all came down to the major question… “was it as good as the graphic novel??”  And well the general consensus was it was.

Go and fucking see it.

5 Dr Manhatten penis’ out of 5

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